A person’s life is largely determined by the conditions and circumstances of the social groups they find themselves in.
Few persons are able to free themselves completely from the people and institutions in which they’ve grown up.
Only a moment’s reflection is required to prove this.
You went to college. At some point you started thinking about your career.
You went for an internship or made some other connection that would give you an advantage in getting a job after graduation. In your current job, you make friends and work to gain the trust of individuals who can advance you even further.
Even if you have not taken this specific route in your life, you have no doubt taken some other path that corresponds to its general form.
The bottom line is you must work your links to people with similar aims, interests, education, and attitudes in order to get ahead in life.
Indeed, this last claim applies not only to your work life, but also to your love life as well.
It is no mystery as to why the top online dating sites stake their reputations on matching compatible individuals. Nor is it surprising that dating sites catering exclusively to professionals have become increasingly popular.
You are more likely to get on with someone who has attained the same level of education and is familiar with your world.
For professional women, this can be a rather embarrassing thing to admit. Democratic manners abhor elitism of every kind.
A man’s class or social background should be no bar to his eligibility to become your partner. There are two things to say about this widely held belief.
The first is that you, as a professional woman, are part of the meritocratic elite — which is the natural consequence of your hard work and perseverance.
The second is that forming a relationship cannot be done on the basis of charity.
You and your man must share a common vision of life. This will not only lighten the atmosphere of those initial first dates; it will also make it easier for the two of you to fall in love.
This line of reasoning can only lead to one conclusion: you should look to the workplace to find love.
I am not suggesting that you go into the office every day and hope that Mr. Right just shows up eventually.
You must take an assertive, pro-active attitude if you are to make the office pay off as a source of finding a potential mate.
One of the first things to consider is the ratio of women-to-men in your office. If the men outnumber the women by a significant margin, then you will have more room to work.
If the opposite is the case, then it will be more of a challenge.
You may think you’re the only one amongst your women colleagues who views the workplace as a pool in which to find a man. The other girls may have stated clearly that they want nothing to do with such a scheme.
Trouble will come, however, when you’ve spotted a man you’re interested in and you start sending out the signs and signals to draw him in.
It is an unfortunate fact that our social interactions in places of work don’t evolve much after high school. As a consequence, if your intentions are discovered, all the women who swore off getting involved in an office romance will become suddenly interested in flirting with your beau.
You will also notice that the man himself will act in a teasing manner that is most likely to result from ego and flattery than any genuine desire to antagonize you.
So, how to find love in the workplace without the embarrassment, frustration, and emotional torture? You must find your man the same way you found your job: through friends and networking.
I should clarify that by “workplace” I mean your profession and professions associated with it.
Unless you really do live under a lucky star, it is unlikely that the perfect partner will be waiting for you on the specific team you’re assigned to – or in the physical space in which you work every day.
Love, however, might be waiting for you in a different department, section, or team within the company.
To find it, you must keep on the case.
The professional relationships you strive to build in different parts of your company tend to be smoothed by regular socializing.
Accept invitations to lunch or after dinner drinks, and don’t be shy about inviting those same colleagues out for a bit of entertainment — with the stipulation that they bring along people they know.
If you make a habit of doing this, then you are likely to meet very interesting men.
You should also stretch your net to include professionals in other fields and those who are in your industry but who work at different companies. The rise of industrial clusters and the office park make this much easier to do.
A casual exchange at the office canteen may grow into something serious. But you are just as likely to find a good man at a client site or on a PMP training course.
Discretion is the key to making things work. You may feel an instant attraction when you first see him; and the two of you may get on so well that you begin to feel a justifiable sense of optimism.
However, you must allow the relationship to come together naturally, which it cannot do if everyone is in your business.
The more you can keep your relationship out of the eye of your work colleagues — at least during those first few crucial months — the better chance you will have to bring it off.
The advantages of finding love in the workplace are almost too obvious to need naming. A number of them have been discussed above.
I would only advise that if you are an ambitious woman, dating a fellow professional means never having to explain yourself.
You will be with someone who understands why you must spend days on end working late or why it is necessary to bring additional work home.
Finding love in the workplace allows you to satisfy the desires of your heart without dampening the strivings of your mind.